Dear Dierdra (yes, that's really the spelling)

Dear Dierdra:

I can't tell exactly how old you are, but the white hair and nose-perched glasses make me think that your toe ring is probably a little too young for you.

I have a big favor to ask. If it's not too much trouble, please wait until you get home to take your Bath & Body Works receipt survey. Most of us are waiting for post surgery news about our loved ones and you yelling into the cell phone "those scents just scream "fall" to me" and "I love your candles, but not the 3-wick ones" is not really of interest to any of us.

And while I'm out on the favor limb, could you please just step into the hall when you call the local store to loudly inquire "HOW LONG ARE YOUR WALLFLOWERS ON 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL? WALLFLOWERS! YES, WALLFLOWERS!...OKAY, THANK YOU". I don't mean to judge, but you were waiting for news of someone being cut open under anesthesia. I'm just saying, the wallflowers sale at Bath & Body Works can wait. Really.

And lastly, Dierdra. Don't think I didn't see you get up and move when that doctor came out to update those two crazy ladies. I know he was loud. It's just ironic that the loudest person moves when someone else goes a little over the preferred decibel level. Oh Dierdra.

I appreciate you hearing me out Dierdra (and thanks for spelling your name 2 times - that was a bonus).

I know the hospital waiting room is boring, so thanks for understanding.

Love,