Is it just me

Or does Butter Lovers microwave popcorn leave a gross film on the roof of your mouth?

It was like Fear Factor, but a little worse

You know how on Fear Factor the premise was supposed to be that people faced the "worst fears"? i.e., heights, spiders, snakes, water, whatever? Well if I were on that show I could handle just about anything as long as it didn't involve vomit. I really and truly have an aversion to vomit. Now I know that most people don't like vomit and some actually can just plow through when they have to deal with it. But when I see or hear someone vomiting, I too, become physically ill. Don't be jealous - but I usually end up throwing up, too...

So last night, poor little one's cough comes back...with a vengance. I don't know how much more "sick" I can take this winter. We have been pretty faithful with the saline, decongestant and now antihistamine, but I guess this cough is bigger than all of that. It's pretty bad - to the point that he's back to gagging on the mucous. Sad and scary, no? So last night I feed him some cobbled together dinner - applesauce and cheerios. We go upstairs and have a bath and bottle before bed. During bath time I gave him decongestant and then antihistamine. After bath we did the normal bottle feeding and he seemed unusually hungry. He finished the last of the formula on the changing table and I sat him up to zip his sleep sack and all he** broke loose. It was like in Stand By Me - the pie eating contest scene. The vomit came out in what I can only call and firehose like projection. My first instinct was to stick my hand out to catch the liquid version of he** and catch it I did. All the formula and applesauce mixture one could ever hope for. Do all people have that instinct? Is that something I've been lucky enough to develop over the years - as I get older and smarter my instincts are honed razor sharp so that when I see and hear someone throwing up I reach out to catch it? It's not like the handful I caught saved the day - it didn't make a difference to the situation and wasn't helpful, but my instinct told me that I should do it. Going to have to give that some more thought...

It was never ending. Filled up the sleep sack, my hand and went down the front of the pajamas. Todd ran to the bathroom to get a washcloth, etc and left me alone. Per my normal reaction I started gagging and gagging and gagging. TC thought I was being funny and started laughing. That was NOT okay :-).

Fast forward to 2:00 am Todd rolled over and said "Do you hear that coughing? What do you want to do?" After an unnecessarily lengthy discussion it was decided that I would get up, give medicine and perhaps a bottle to get him back to sleep. I walked in and he's standing in the crib and is happy to see me. I got the meds and the bottle and repeated the situation from earlier. All was going well until he finished the 5 oz and I called to Todd to please fix more. He fixed 4 more oz and TC sucked it down. He seemed fine and I put him over my shoulder to take him back to bed and I heard it again - that rumble that will haunt me forever. The rumble that now signals FIRE IN THE HOLE! This time Todd reaches out to "catch" the vomit and ends up with a handful. So as it turns out Todd got that instinct too! And once again - it made not a bit of difference. It didn't save me or the floor AND with two handfuls of vomit, Todd was left figuring out what the heck to do with it - and once he did - he then had to figure out how to get the trash can lid open without spilling it. I laughed and again, that was NOT okay :-)

I got super lucky this time and ended up with it down my left arm, inside my robe and down my legs. Walking to the 3:00 am shower all I could hear was "SHHHHLPPP, SHHHHLPPP, SHHHHLPPP, SHHHHLPPP" and if you don't know - that's the sound your feet make when they are sticky with vomit in your Croc flip flops...

All the commotion woke Tiki and so at 3:30 am I found myself back in bed, with wet hair, something that passed for pajamas, Todd and Tiki and half a dozen stuffed animals with the montior glued to my ear. And then...what seemed like maybe a hour later...the alarm went off.

Repeat after me "Children are a blessing from the Lord, Children are a blessing from the Lord, Children are a blessing from the Lord..."

TTFN

If I didn't know better, I'd think I was lying...

There is no way I can be 36. I still feel like I'm in my 20's. My mother-in-law told me that I would spend the next 30 years feeling like I was finally in my 30's. Is that good or bad????

I'm not sure how I feel about being on the downhill slide to 40...

Toot, toot

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!

As seen on TV

We now have an "As Seen on TV" store in the mall and it's pretty funny stuff in there. Kind of like Flea Market meets Bill Nye the Science Guy. After the weekend follies with TK I thought I might call them and see if that have a place for a live running ad in that store. It would sound a little like this...

TK: Mommy you really should get Gerber.
Me: What?
TK: I said you really should get Gerber.
Me: Gerber? What are you talking about?
TK: I said you really should get the Gerber Life Grow up plan for TC. It's a $10,000 whole life policy.


TK: Mommy, if you want those red things on your face to go away just use Proactive.


TK: Next time can I get Tolgain Tobal?
Me: What? Tolgain Tobal? What is that?
TK: It's the toothpaste. The toothpaste that daddy uses. It's total protection for your mouth.
Me: Oh, you mean Colgate Total? You have that - you actually already use Colgate for Kids. See "Col-gate".
TK: Oh. Well I want to call it Tolgain Tobal.

Life would be harder if I had to make this stuff up. But I don't. I really don't. And the really astonishing part is that he's allowed one Kid's Show in the morning while dressing for school and may one or two in the evening while I get dinner out of the KFC bag. :-)

Curse you Punxsutawney Phil

The Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators, I curse you and whatever family you live with in the ground. I can't take another minute of the colds and sickness that accompany winter. I really thought that this time having a spring baby would be ideal so that by winter time their little lungs would be better developed and ready to handle the season of germs, but it hasn't worked out that way and the the groundhog comes along with 6 more weeks of winter. Thanks Phil. No really.

What is it about the colder weather that makes colds so prevalent? I might have read that it's just more people inside a warm environment ripe with germs that makes them seem more prevalent, but I wouldn't remember where I read that. I sincerely hope that once everyone is healed this time around that we can just move on. I'm getting tired of all the complaining coming from me.

This is why you need two

If you only have one child you will never experience this. And unless your British, there's a good chance you'll only experience a version of this. I LOVE the way Cha-lee laughs - like Mutley from the Laff Olympics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

Holy Schmo!

I'm a parent to a 5 year old!

Today is TK's 5th birthday and I'm still absorbing the fact that 5 years old = kindergarten in just over 6 months!

The day began not as great as I would have hoped and as usual I shoulder a good deal of the blame for that.

I think birthdays are a REALLY big deal. I mean, sure, there could be 100,000 other people in the world with your same birthday, but I consider it to be your special day. It was the day that God chose to give you breath so we make them special.

In keeping with that I made sure that this morning Todd got up and got TK his favorite Top Pot Old Fashioned Chocolate Donut from Starbucks AND he had one gift to open with breakfast. But what actually happened is that it took Todd a long time on the errand, Teeks woke up early AND on the wrong side of the bed, ended up in time out (his first ever 5 minute time out) and threw his gift during a small tantrum over getting dressed.

So after some thought where I considered having him continue the rest of his childhood living in the backyard or possibly sending him to France to live with another family, we made him go back to his room in the dark and get in bed and restart the day. He cried and resisted, but managed to turn the day around..and left the house in 3 different patterns of camo and flashing Spiderman shoes. If you see him, no he did not escape from a home and yes he does have the gift of sight.

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to Tee-eeks!
Happy Birthday to you!

I struggle for an accurate description

I am struggling for an accurate description of what it's like to have a 9 month old, 4 year old and 38 year old (all males) with a stomach bug that includes vomiting and all other liquid bodily functions the weekend after you have worked yourself crazy, survived on about 5 hours of sleep per night and all in another city. Seriously, the last day in Orlando began with me in the war room at 6:15 am and I finally got back to my room around 11:00 pm. It was a long week...

I have some fun stories from Orlando and Disney adventures with TK, but right now I'm just counting the minutes until this particular day and weekend are officially over...