20 miles uphill in the snow and other stupid things parents say...

I was going to say "Overheard" but since I said it would it really be overheard???

We picked up TK's new glasses yesterday. They are awesome and he looks so handsome and grown up. They are just too cute. He appears to like them, especially since they turn to sunglasses when he gets in the sun - what a nice feature for a little guy.

If you read my earlier post then you know what we paid for those glasses (thank you EyeMed insurance). So I have been trying to impress upon Teeks how we need to treat the glasses, be so careful, etc. I could tell my message was falling on deaf ears when I found the little one walking around last night holding TK's brand spankin' new spectacles in his sticky hands...laughing. Fearing that my message was never going to sink in and the glasses would be toast in a matter of days I finally pulled out one of my ultimate parent tools - relate it to his greatest love!

"TK put those glasses back on your face! Do you know how much those cost?"

"How much?"

"20 Transformers!!!"

I heard crickets as his jaw slowly dropped open. He did the quick calculation and very gently took the glasses from Bitty, put them on his face, silently turned and walked away...

If you like Giorgio, you'll love Primo

Remember that? Some of y'all might be too young to remember that in it's heyday. I had a best friend that really believed that Primo (by Pafums de Couer) was an acceptable substitute - not for Lysol, but for Giorgio. It got to where my mom didn't really want her to spend the night or come over for that matter because it just stunk up the house to the nth degree.

Some things just can't be substituted and that's a discovery I made when I served up a little ramekin of ranch dressing to TK with his dinner. He dipped, ate, poked his toungue back out to wipe off the offensive flavor and said "Plaah! What did you make that with?!?" Hmmmm, the same thing I always use, with one possible exception. I looked to make sure Todd had indeed gotten the buttermilk recipe mix and he had. So that only leaves the actual buttermilk and the mayonaise and come on - that's pretty much the same from one to the next, right? I tasted it and Pleh was right. It was gross. I then realized the problem. I used generic mayonaise. It was called generic REAL mayo, but it was not my normal brand. Who would have thought generic real mayo could ruin home-mixed ranch? I mean, I can see substituting Miracle Whip or Hellman's since those have a flavor all their own, but I specifically chose the real mayo - just the store brand. Suffice it to say, we dumped that and started over the next night. Funny thing is I will eat other ranch dressing at restaurants, etc., and so will Tiki, but I guess we were both expecting a certain flavor to come out of that beat-up blue and white cruet.

That got me thinking about what other things just can't be substituted. I'm not normally a brand snob - especially in this current world of almost between jobs and gas taking up most of the money we actually bring home, but there are just certain things that I think are brand superior in no particular order...

Heinz Ketchup
Kraft Real Mayo
Mrs. Baird's Large White Bread and Nature's Own Whole Grain Wheat
Um, COKE - and nothing else to be said about that one
Tia Rosa tortillas (unless we buy the fresh made from the tortilleria)
Dannon Yogurt
Daisy Sour Cream
Cajun Chef Jalapenos
Kraft Real American Singles
Claussen Kosher Dill Spears (the ones that are sold in the deli case - cold!)
and lastly Boar's Head deli meat

In looking at the list, perhaps it more of a dairy issue, but I will buy store brand shredded cheese or store brand milk, etc.

I have some non-grocery items that I'm pretty specific about such as dental floss, toothpaste and bath and hand soap, but everyone has that...

Do you have favorites that you just won't substitute no matter what?? Leave a comment - let me know - because I'm 100% sure I'm not the only one with grocery neuroses. TTFN.

You know what they say...

If you leave your pantry open and turn your back...the baby will know and will get there before you will...

No parkin' on the dance floor

TK wears glasses and has for about 1.5 years now. He's done really well for being his age and having to deal with glasses. His first pair were these cool little blue wire rectangles made of memory metal that you can bend and twist - perfect for a 4 year old. They survived until one fateful timeout where TK took the glasses and tried to break them in half in a fit of anger. Todd and were kind of standing back laughing at him and thinking "good luck" until we heard snaaaappp. That was the sound of one of the 3 "weak points" on the glasses snapping in half...NICE JOB KID!

Remarkably, Todd stayed calm and dragged Teeks to LensCrafters at 4:45 on a Sunday afternoon to see what could be done. The awesome guy there was all "Sir, I think these glasses are defective. Don't you think that sir? Seriously, I THINK THEY WERE DEFECTIVE AND I THINK WE SHOULD REPLACE THESE FRAMES FOR FREE, SIR." He replaced the frames, but told Todd "We can't do anything about those lenses." We had no idea what he was talking about until we discovered that there were teeth marks on the lenses. Yes, teeth marks. Evidently, (as discovered upon further investigation) TK got something on the lens and tried to scrape it off with his teeth - you know, as opposed to haaaaah-ing on the lens and wiping off the fog. Who uses their teeth????

So finally we went for a new exam last week and found out that the patching has not been working and instead Tiki will have to use the dilating drops in order to make his weak eye work harder and gain some strength. That means one eye will be dilated all the time - something I think will be fun for all of us, no really fun for all of us. It's so sad to see him try to shake his head to clear his vision when his eyes are dilated. It will be quite fun watching him try to do that in 6 week increments.

After the exam the doctor tells me that although TK's prescription has not changed much, he does indeed new glasses (and not just because of the teeth marks...) This time there are special effects called for!

Checkout went something like this.

Tortoiseshell Ralph Lauren frames for $119.95 - covered by insurance...check
Single vision lens for $120.00 - I pay $10...check
Featherweight lens for $65.00 - I pay $40...check
Transitions tinting for $125 - I pay $100...check
Invisible prism for $85 - I pay $45...check

If you are good at math you can see that my original total was $514.95. After my insurance kicked in my out of pocket total was $195.00.

While Sergio the Optician was swiping my card I leaned down to TK and said very quietly "If I find your teeth or your mouth on ANY part of these glasses I will tan your hide".

He looked up at me with the one big eye and said "Will you spank me until your hand becomes part of my body?"

After the initial shock I was like "Would that be scary to you?"

"Yes"

"Okay - then yes that's what I'll do"

I WAS MEANT FOR THIS JOB!

Overheard in my car

"Oh TK look, they are putting in the overpass support columns for the new highway. That's going to be so nice when that's finished"

"What?"

"They are going to make this a regular highway with no stoplights. That's going to make it nice. You know?"

"Yeah. It's gonna be totally wicked sick"

"Did you say totally wicked sick?"

"Duh"

15 days til "t" day and 24 days til "d" day

So much has transpired in the last week I don't even know where to begin.

The *actual* story is long, much too long to type. The short version is that my goal was to be teaching by the time TK started school (August 2008). I started working on my certificate last summer and during that time left Dr Pepper and went back to FNIS and just worked slowly on my certificate (read - putting off testing...). So last Thursday I scheduled my test for June 25 - that would be "t" day - test day. And in a strange twist of fate I was informed last Friday that as of July 7, my job would be "located" in Florida - with or without me - that would be "d" day - DAMNIT! day :-).

I think it goes without saying that there is pretty much no way we would move. We don't love Texas, but we have done our time in Florida already and that was at the beach. Todd used to say "I would never live in Orlando - I mean, what's the point?"

So the message here is that as of July 7, I am unemployed. That friends is a scary sentence...

I don't normally blog about me because blogging about the inappropriate things my child says is much more interesting, but this is on my mind and even though I'm not telling the whole sordid story it feels better to just say it...

I totally believe in providence so I know that there are bigger and better things in store for me, but as I always say when people say "When one door closes another opens" is "Yes, but it's the time in the hallway that's hard..."

Wish me luck and if you pray - then say one for me :-)!

Don't Ask & Don't Tell, revised edition

A couple of years ago my parents got TK some GI Joe dolls. We thought they would be good toys for him (they were huge) and a good way to practice snaps, dressing and undressing - typical learning stuff. My mom even asked "Will Todd be okay with dolls that can be undressed". I was all "Todd is modern, he will be fine with that" and such. And for the most part, he was...until for the fourth week in a row he found the 2 GI Joe dolls completely naked save for their dog tags around their neck...

That day he renamed them "Don't Ask" and "Don't Tell" and informed us that if they didn't find their clothes quickly they would be dishonorably discharged...

Alas, they did not find their clothes and ended up in the dumpster...naked and alone. End of story. I still do give Todd a hard time about Don't Ask and Don't Tell and he now just grimaces and makes some mumbly comment about letting TK play wth naked dolls, etc.

So this morning Teeks comes in the office carrying Derek, Prince Derek that is from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses - the boy doll he HAD to have because he had riding boots...naked.

"Mommy, I can't find Prince Derek's clothes"

"Hmmm, yeah, he's naked all right. We need to find some clothes for him pretty quick"

"Well, I can't. I don't know where they are. So can I keep him?"

"What?"

"Can I keep him? Naked?"

"Only until your father finds out..."


At least Derek's not naked with a friend and at least he's not wearing dog tags...

I'm bringing drama back, yeah.

Not really - but I think the break is over. I'll have to slowly tranistion back to blogging now that the lazy days of summer are here.

TK is out of Pre-K/daycare for the summer. We've decided to let him do some day camps and fun stuff before starting Kindergarten in the fall (whhhhaaaattttt????? - I know!)

So, he and my dad (Pop) have been spending some time together - swimming, seeing movies, toy shopping, etc. TK *loves* doing stuff with Pop -but so far this summer nothing tops toy shopping...and here's why

Overheard at Wal-Mart

"Hey Pop, I have $4. How about you throw in $10 so I can get that Ironman toy".

I'm going to try that "Hey, I have $10, about you throw in $990 and I can get that new TV..."