Whatever, dude.

Took the kids to the Science Museum today and it was totally awesome. Pictures when I recover from that outing.

I will go ahead and put this out there. 90% of parents and kids are annoying. I'm just saying. I'm sure I'm in someone else's 90% and I'm okay with that. But for real.

Just another day in paradise...

This is what having a boy looks like. Genetically-programmed-to-get-as-dirty-as-possible boys...

Thank goodness for the last summer birthday!

Seriously, thank goodness there was one boy in TKs class that has a summer birthday. I have not been to a classmate birthday party since March 2007 when I was put on bedrest for the little one. Since then Todd has been the attendee for all things 5 year old birthday related and I've been the one to stay home with the little one - either while he napped or because who wants a baby at their birthday. So yesterday TK was invited to our neighbor and soon to be kindergarten classmate's 6th birthday. It was at our neighborhood pool - walking distance for us and the perfect July-in-Texas summer party. The party started at 10:00 am so my mom came over to keep the little one because he's at that age where they just walk right in to the pool - without stopping. That and it was his morning nap time and Todd was gone.

So, I'm sure you are asking why do I say "thank goodness I sacrificed two hours of my life with screaming 5 year olds?"

Well, lately I have been stressed about TK going to kindergarten in just about a month. Not because "my baby is growing up" and not because I will know the difference being a working mom, but for other reasons. He's an AMAZING kid, but one that requires quite a bit of stimulation and activity. He likes to be going and doing and sharing his wonderful imagination with you 24/7. He's become so independent and lately filled with the vim and vigor attitude...more like a 5th grader than a 5 year old. I was filling out his profile for his teachers and when I finished and re-read I was like "Huh, I'm sure this teacher is going to get this profile and be like 'crap'..." So rather than taking the time to understand him and I have just been assuming that he's the only one like this...au contraire...

Sitting at the pool yesterday was EYE-OPENING! There was a good assortment of kids - kids with older siblings, kids with younger siblings (like TK), only children - you name it. And all of them were 5 or 6 and all of them were pure terrors! They didn't listen to their mothers, they dunked their friends, they ran when they weren't supposed to, they pitched royal tantrums and in general...acted 5.

I was purely giddy just seeing that it's widespread. 5 is magical in a really bad way - like "running through the fires of hell" magic. Now I know that it's not ideal that I'm like "Oh, phew, they are all bad" - and that's not it. It was more like "OOOOOOOOHHHHH, so it's just 5?????"

And then, just like I've come to expect, God plopped down an old friend that I had lost contact with, right next to me. She and I met when our "Ts" were 2 and 3 months old. She has a 9 year old and thankfully spent the next 2 hours reassuring me that if we could make it through 5 and 6 then we could be eligible to be the first women on the front lines of combat. She told me that she got notes every day for the first 6 weeks with her oldest and that the teachers still liked him (and her) despite that. She talked and comforted and made me feel better and better (all while yelling at her "T" and putting him in multiple timeouts, getting pizza, cake and applying sunblock).

I left there feeling better than I have in months AND I came home with a new perspective on TK. Instead of thinking about how hard it is for me, I'm thinking also about how hard it must be to be 5...

Love in real life...

This is what it looks like...to me.

Any guesses?

If you guessed "The number of times Tracy has heard 'you love bitty more than you love me' from TK" - you got it right!

Okay TK - let me just clarify - just because you get in trouble for knocking your 15 month old brother down with a sucker punch does NOT mean I love him more than you. I'm simply trying to make sure he lives. Are we clear?

Roll 'n Grow, Part Deux

Yesterday I was in the kitchen while the little one was napping and TK was watching a "kid's show". A commercial came on and I heard TK say "Mommy, are you hearing this?"

I told him I was and he turned to look at me over the back of the couch...

"Well, do you want pretty flowers?"

"Sure I do"

"Do you want to have them attract butterflies?"

"Sure, that would be nice"

"Then you should just get the Roll 'n Grow mat. All you do is just roll, water and let mother nature do the rest. You'll end up with beautiful flowers in no time."

His pitch was so convincing I visited the website. But what I really want to know - and I've asked this before - why are those commercials on mid-day Nickelodeon?????

Worse than being dead?

I don't even know where to begin with this one. Normally this would be an "overheard" but this one needs a little background for it to be as funny as it was...

So...overheard...with background.

Tonight I was making hamburgers for dinner. I was doctoring the meat up and TK walked by so I asked him to grab the meat container and put it in the trash. He only had one hand and when he grabbed the container it flipped up and some of the blood got on his wrist. He pulled his wrist in to sniff it and I said "CAREFUL that's blood!". His eyes got really big and he said "Real blood???"

I said "Yes, real blood. Put that in the trash and go wash your arm off."

On the way around the baby gates I could see him in the hall and he was sniffing his wrist again and said "What's the blood from?" I told him it was from the meat and he wanted to know what kind of meat. I said "The hamburger, the meat from the cow."

He finished washing his arm and came back out from the bathroom and all the way back around to the kitchen. When he got there he said "I bet that cow was FURIOUS!" and I said "The cow was furious...? Why would the cow be furious?"

"BECAUSE YOU TOOK IT'S MEAT!"

And then he walked off in the "DUH" huff.

I mean, I never would have thought about how angry the cow must be and it just seemed mean to tell him that the cow was probably more furious about having to be dead...

Stealing? or just borrowing because it's funny!

I borrowed this from a site that I stalk. These are good for a rainy day...

1. I would love to have this sense of humor
2. Now I'll start looking for my own
3. If you love Photoshop, you'll love the this one

Just a little something to bookmark and go to when you run out of things to look at on the computer, but you don't want to fold the laundry either...

Staying home with kids...not so much

Since the day I brought TK home I have said "I really want to be able to stay home with my kids." We need two incomes so it's never been an option. Today I say thank goodness. I'm horrible at this! I think I would be better if I could spend as much as I wanted to do things here in TX. In the summer here you pretty much have to be inside and most places that provide you with their A/C either want you to pay (imagine that) or you have to buy something. Thank GOD for the library - that gem of a place - with free A/C, children's books and toys for the little one...

I told my mom that I might actually be excited to go back to work...to get a break. :-)

(Just to clarify - my kids are awesome - but they are non-stop! My mom stayed with them Saturday morning for about 4 hours and when I got home she was like "I don't know how you have been doing this - they are exhausting... Um, yeah - that's one word for it.)

It was like listening to myself

Today I took the kids (oh yeah, both at the same time) out of the house. We met my mom and grandmother for running around and lunch. I usually won't - under any circumstances - take the kids to a restaurant - because it just isn't fun. But today I knew this particular restaurant - Tin Star - would not be crowded in the 'burbs and there were 3 of us against 2 of them.

So...we get there and order and are waiting for our food when two moms come in with their two boys each. If I had to guess, I would say 8 or 9 and 4 or 5. They took a few tables next to us and the switch flipped and those kids when ape crazy. I mean, running along the length of booths, jumping over chairs, pressing all the drink dispensers making the drinks go everywhere - you name it. One even got taken to the restroom for an "attitude adjustment". My kids were mesmerized by the hooligans...for real.

TK stepped in to crochety old man mode and turned around from watching those kids and said "Those kids have been reading too many comic books. They have been watching too much TV. They have had too much caffeine. Those kids are just crazy and they are acting bad."

Awwww. He's speaking from personal experience. Kids after his own heart.

BTW

Thank you McDonald's in Texas for finally serving Sweet Tea. Is there anything else from Chick-fil-A you want to copy? Now would be the time...

DesignStar

Not me. TK. He's the next DesignStar. Here's how I know.

"TK - are you excited about starting kindergarten this fall?"

"Yes"

"I'm sure. You know, depending where I'm working you might be going back to HLC after school with Miller and Gunnar and your other buds - or you might go to Primrose - I'm not sure yet. Would that be fun?"

"Is Primrose the building with the popcorn ceilings?"

"Um yeah, I think they had that - but I can't remember"

"Well, I won't go there. I won't go to a building with popcorn ceilings."

Hmmm. Is that true that 5 year olds care about popcorn ceilings? That's the question you might be asking yourself. And the answer in this case would be yes. TK could barely stand to be in my grandmother's old apartment building because she had popcorn ceilings in there. He actually developed anxiety over it.

Who knew?

"This is like a dream...

and I hope I wake up soon." Saith Tiki last night.

Sunday evening I was cooking him some bacon the old fashioned way (stove top frying). Before the pan warmed up he came over and peeked over the edge to see and sniff. Then he went back to the den to wait for it to cook. I turned away from the stove to put something in the sink and I hear "OWWWWWW - that grease popped!!!!! I need some ice!". So I grab a damp paper towel and wrap some ice cubes in it and send him away again - not even looking at his face. After dinner he was on the water slide and came over to say something and I noticed a HUGE white smiley patch where there was no skin under his nose. Evidently he put his nose on the edge of the frying pan to peek at the bacon and it burned his little nose. YOWCH! So we aloed it up good last night and today it's all scabbed over. Poor baby.

So then yesterday evening after dinner we decide to take a little drive (I know gas prices, but we went in the neighborhood). I had a new pack of Positively Pom gum and Teeks wanted to try it. I gave him a piece and the rest of the drive went something like this...

AHHHH the gum has my fingers trapped!

TK put that gum back in your mouth, please

Ok.

Yikes, the gum has leaped on to my ear!

TK, I'm serious. If I catch you with that gum out again, it's curtains for you.

Yes ma'am.

Mommy, look what the gum did now!

I turned around to see the gum stretched from his mouth to his forehead and from cheek to cheek.

I had Todd pull the car over, but it was too late. By the time I got around the vehicle, the bangs (which were shaggy anyway) had landed on the gum and were stuck there - smelling like pom and creating some sort of bizarre pink widow's peak - like a chunk of hair pasted to his forehead. I couldn't help but laugh...

I told Teeks to leave it alone and that we'd have to cut it out when we got home.

He sat there quietly for a few minutes and then we heard...

"This is like a dream and I hope I wake up soon. First I burn my nose on the bacon pan and then I get this gum stuck in my hair. I hope I wake up from this dream soon."

Poor Teeks...

Thank you Leelou

Todd's not sure this new backgroud is "me" but I'm trying it on for size...

Thanks to Leelou Blogs for the awesome free backgrounds.

Considering the circumstances...

Only God could have been responsible...

I passed my certification test!!!!!

Whew. I was 100% convinced I failed. So much so that I had already scheduled to take the paper test on 8/2.

The whole story to come.