"Say goodnight to your brother...

and tell him you'll see him next year."

"Why? Is he going to an orphanage?"

I just have to shake my head in wonderment. WHERE, pray tell, did this child come from?

What do you want for dinner?

That was the question that was posed to TK last night. What do you want for dinner? It was kind of a leftover, clean out the fridge night from Christmas and this last lazy week of being home from work and school.

He rode his scooter from the den to the kitchen to tell me "casserole". Todd and I looked at each other like WHAT? This kid is the picky eater of the century and most casseroles are not for the faint of heart or picky of stomach... So I asked again to make sure and he said again "casserole". So Todd opens the fridge and takes out 3 bowls and says "Okay, this casserole or this casserole or this casserole?" TK says "Not any of those. Those are not casseroles." Todd says "Yes, a casserole is a mixture of foods in one pan and baked." (haha) and TK says "No, a casserole is when you take something and it's rolled up like an armadillo and the ends are curled and it's in the oven - that's a casserole".

"Oh...you mean Crescent Rolls?"

"Yes, that's what I want."

My 4.75 year old teenager

My 4.75 year old teenager said this to me this evening...

"Well if you don't like anything at McDonald's why do you just go home and cook yourself something."

Excellent suggestion. Thank you.

TC got a new ride

Check out TC's new stroller. He's VERY happy riding in this buggy. It's a reversible, floating seat. It's so nice to be able to have him face us without him having to be in an infant carrier to do it. Thanks M&D.

Overheard at my house

"Um, mommy can you please come in here and turn off this gentlemen's show and put on a kids show"

I said GO and they WENT!

YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

Tyler even went out front and rang the bell after the game! So exciting! I'm sure that my neighbors think I'm not all there. I mean I was sitting at the desk in the kitchen office in front of a laptop screaming and jumping and actin' a fool...can't even imagine what that looked like from the back windows...

I'm crossing my fingers for a bowl bid, preferrably Shreveport or Memphis so we can go!!!!

GO STATE!

In Texas the only way to watch the game is on the computer on ESPN 360...but who cares - at least it's on.

GO STATE!!!!!!!!!

I believe in Santa

So, this year as an extra incentive to really step up the behavior game I'm doing a modified version of Elf on the Shelf. By modified I mean, I didn't order that elf, I got my own and invented my own story. I sent my mother on a wild goose chase to find a 'realistic elf' (I know) and she finally found one at Garden Ridge...on a wreath. So she got the wreath and took it home and pulled the elf off only to find that he had a little rod in his back that was holding him to the wreath. To fix that she got some 'patches' of brown felt and glued them all over. The elf totally looks like the hardest worker at the North Pole... Anyway, she also sewed his name (Willie) on one patch and sewed that to his chest. I had already been building up the "scout elf" story and how Santa sends an elf to kids houses and the elf reports back on their behavior, etc., so Tiki was ready. I put Willie on the piano and told Teeks that his visitor was here.

To say that Teeks was skeptical of Willie would be an understatement. He was like "That is NOT a real elf". I said "No, I know. It's the North Pole law that elves CANNOT interact with humans, so when we come in the room he turns into a stuffed elf." And to that he replied "You are telling a lie." So I let it go for a while and then right before bed (a truly horrific time for us each night) I brought Willie back up and asked "Where do you think Willie will hide tonight and where will we find him in the morning?" And this is what I heard from inside the closet as he was getting undressed "Listen, I believe in Santa, but I do NOT believe in Willie."

That kid is lucky he's cute :-)

I've got a sharp stick...

And I can't stop poking myself in the eye with it.

I allowed a very keyed up 4.75 year old to go to 'Garden Bridge' with my today and then I okayed a suggestion to follow that up with dinner at a restaurant...good thinking on my part. So, why was I surprised when it got so bad that I had to leave over 1/2 my meal on the table and spend the rest of the time in the parking lot scolding, wiping tears, explaining the problem ad nauseum, scolding more and wiping more tears. Oh, I wasn't. What I am surprised about is that my limited math skills tell me I should weigh much less than I do if I end up skipping 1/2 of my dinner every night. Seriously.

I'm so thankful that 5 is just around the corner. I'm certain that will be a turning point or the point where I freecycle a gently used 5 year old.

Overheard at Target

TKW: Mommy, can I have this candy?
Me: No, no candy, it's late - close to bedtime, no candy
TKW: Awwww, how about this candy?
Me: No, NO candy tonight. You had a cookie earlier and that's enough sugar.
TKW: Awwww, come on mommy, all I had today was protein and some grapes. I'm really ready for candy now.

So, mother's take note, when all you've given your kid is 'protein and some grapes' their bodies will be really in need of the candy food group.

TK learns to read...

So yesterday TK and I had a little mom and me time and part of that time was to go see Bee Movie (great, by the way). After the movie we had to use the restroom and although I'm sure he could do it by himself, I'm too paranoid to send him into a public restroom by himself, so into the ladies room with me he goes. We went to the far back handicap access stall and per our normal arrangement, he runs into the stall and says "gentlemen first" (we are still working on that etiquette). So, he finished using the restroom and it was my turn. This is the point where he would normally start messing with the door lock or examining the flush mechanism so this next thing wasn't totally unexpected... He goes to the feminine box and start pushing in the little door tell him to leave that alone because it's yucky. He asks what it is and I tell him it's a special place for lady bathroom things that can't go in the toilet and be flushed, etc. He didn't understand so I said - like a baby diaper - they can't be flushed, right? He gets that so we are all set. Let's just finish and get out of here...

The next thing I hear is "tuh-am-puh-aw-enn... ta-m-paw-n... tam-p-on... tampon... tampon... tampon... is that right, is that what that says?" I said "Yes, shhhhhh" and he was like "What is a tampon, what is that, what is a tampon?" By now I'm starting to laugh and still shusshing him and trying to get out of the stall and redirect. He's still saying that same thing over and over again except now we are walking toward the sinks and he's being very dramatic, playing up to my laughter, using his very theatrical gestures "What is a tampon, why won't you tell me what a tampon is?" So the folks waiting in line for a stall are howling with laughter. Nice.

We get to the sinks and I say "Shhhh, okay what does that spell?" and he says

"SOAP...I already know that, but what I don't know is what a TAMPON is!".

Seriously - this is why I had kids...:-)

1$ goes a long way

Saturday morning walks are becoming more frequent now that it's cooling off some. We normally pass more than one garage sale in our neighborhood and each one is an opportunity for Tiki to prove that someone else's trash really is someone else's treasure...

This particular Saturday, Teeks sacrificed $2 of our hard earned money for a small floor pinball machine and an original VHS 25th anniversary edition of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory...

As we were watching Tiki was eating a small box of Nerds from the Halloween bucket (I know - it's the 20th) and realized that Wonka candy is real.

"Mommy, Wally Wonka is real. This is a real show about a real candy maker."

"Yes, TK, there really is a WILLY Wonka candy company."

"So, then are those Oompa Loompas real?"

Happy Anniversay to me (us really)

It's my 6th wedding anniversary today! Todd and I were just discussing how we can't believe we have made it 6 years. I know you really should say that on your 25th or 50th, but I think we actually say that *each* year that we celebrate an anniversary...and frankly I think we will keep doing that. I have more than one friend that was divorced inside of 5 years, so every year that we're here it's reason to celebrate!!!!

I've got to stop taking so long...

Has it really been a month and 15 days since my last post? Before I had my second child people used to tell me (when I asked) that having 2 kids was NOT twice the work. What they forgot to add was that it's actually 15 times the work. But that may be because I leave my house at 7:30 every morning and arrive at work approximately 1 hour later and do the same thing at night - which leaves about 2 hours of the day for me. It's becoming a very big struggle for me personally to continue at that pace with a new baby that would like to see me more than that.

On to more upbeat topics.

So we have been dealing with the start of a new preschool year for Tiki and it's been quite interesting. They are on the light system at his school and every day when I'm driving to his school to pick him up I find myself repeating this silent prayer - let him be on green light, let him be on green light...Then I get there and actually have to take a big deep breath before walking in and hearing the verdict. Most days this year it's been poor little Teeks hanging his head and saying "Mommy, yellow light" or "Mommy, red light". I make a sad face and then have to ask "What happened" and the standard reply is "I just wasn't listening during ________ (insert any given activity)" And I say "Well, we are going to have to work on that, aren't we?" So imagine my suprise when on Wednesday I walked in and heard "Mommy, red light". I asked what had happened and was completely surprised to hear "I punched Coby in the stomach, that's why I'm on red light." I was like "Huh?" It turns out Coby was bothering him and would not stop as Tiki asked him to do. Huh? Did I accidentally teach him that? And when I say accidentally I mean - seriously, accidentally? I don't recall ever demonstrating that kind of response when someone is bothering me...but perhaps I have unknowingly punched a few folks in the stomach a few times and Teeks has just picked up on that...

I guess the dilemma here is where in the world to kids learn all of this stuff from? We don't watch punching stuff on TV and we don't have friends that punch so I'm just wondering where in the world my sweet bespectacled child picked this up from...

I'm currently struggling thorough "Raising Boys". And by struggling I mean I can't read it at night because it keeps me awake from all of the "OH MY GOSH - that's the explanation for that" moments I experience. I hate to chalk this up to being a boy, but I know that gender does play a big part in how kids (and adults) relate to one another, but I'm not sure the teachers of Pre-K III are going to accept that as an answer.

For now it will just remain one of the mysteries of childhood - sort of like why some kids bite at school and make their parents crazy while the *girls* in the class just do what they are told and never give their parents a moment of trouble (haha).

Long time gone

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since my last post. So many things to post about.

• Farewell Dr Pepper. As of 8/13 I am back at Fidelity and loving my decision. Dr Pepper was a fun year, but too much with 2 kids and that kind of schedule. The bad (or good) thing about being back is how restricted my Internet access is. That includes no reading or posting blog entries. That's probably just as well - I'm working much harder now :-)
• Todd is changing jobs as well - lots of turmoil and chaos to end the summer
• TC aka the little one is 4 months and 17 lbs. Hard to believe it's already been 4 months and I'm still this chubby...
• Tiki moved up the Pre K III and is loving his new classmates and teachers
• I threw my back out. I don't even really know what that means. All I know is that one minute I was picking up a book off of the floor and the next minute I was stooped over like an old lady and could not straighten up! So that means I can't really walk...at least not without looking like a strange bird...
• I woke up this morning to find that I have Pink Eye in both flippin' eyes! It's so gross. But at least now they sell Similasan over the counter and it's pretty good stuff. It turns out that Pink Eye is a MUCH better reason to work from home than throwing your back out (at least at my age...)
• We had a great Labor Day trip to Denver. Todd and TC were already there and Tiki and I flew up and stayed with Todd's family for the weekend. It was great. The weather was nice and we did some outdoor things and some shopping, etc. It was fun and a nice getaway.

Hopefully I will remember to bring my computer home so I won't go so long b/t postings. Too much to catch up on.

HI-LARRY-US

I know this has nothing to do with mama or drama or anything like that but you HAVE to see this

I could watch this over and over and over again. I don't know why - it's just funny to me.

Hey Hey

Hey hey,
What do you say?
Today is TiKi's
1/2 birthday!

Only 6 months until he's 5 and I'm still trying to get that baby weight off :-)

I is smart

Let me set the stage. Saturday morning I got up and went to the gym around 7:30. I took Todd's car (this is important later). I came back and got ready for the day. Todd and TK were planning a trip to Six Flags that afternoon so while Todd took a nap, I put the boys in the car for a quick trip to McDonald's to get TK some lunch. I actually had a couple of things to do - Home Depot, gas and lunch, but decided to get lunch first since that would keep Tiki occupied. Todd was asleep in the BIG, soft rocker/recliner in the little one's room. It's pretty dark and cool in there. I didn't tell him where we were going or even that we were leaving - we just left with him sound asleep. Our little burg is pretty hilly (for Texas) and McDonald's is down and up a couple of big hills about 2 miles away. On the way up the hill just before the parking lot my truck DIES - uphill. Lights came on, power steering went out and the car was DEAD. I remember sweating and trying to coax the car into the Blockbuster parking lot. It was about 100 degrees outside and after taking a quick inventory and realizing that I left the house with NO STROLLER and NO DIAPER bag I started frantically calling Todd's cell phone as we huffed across the parking lot to McDonald's. No answer, no answer, no answer. I got TK some food and got him all set up on the play ground and proceed to redial Todd's number over and over again - all the while remembering the last time he took a Saturday nap, he slept for 5 hours...

Since he wasn't answering I called my dad, who was at my brother's house and he immediately jumped in his car to come over - even though he was 30-45 minutes away and Todd was one minute away. I think the grandkid pity factor swayed him. Meanwhile, my brother keeps making suggestions of what could be wrong with the truck - "could be your alternator", "did the battery charge indicator go down?", "do you have roadside with your warranty?", "did you hear a noise that sounded like the serpentine belt?" All I could say was "No" and "If it was that, about how much would that cost to fix?"

When I finally hung up with them I think called Todd's phone 34 times. And on the 35th time he cheerfully answered "HEY, perfect timing! Where are you guys? I was just making a quick snack and getting ready to go!" I think I said something like "COME GET ME NOW - I'M AT MCDONALD'S AND THE CAR IS DEAD!". He and my dad arrived at the same time and got my keys, went over the car to check it out and came walking back over just minutes later. I was expecting the worst, trying to think of how to tell TK 'no Six Flags' - we'll have to go tomorrow, etc. And Todd says...

"Um, you ran out of gas."

True story. Seriously, I even amaze myself.

A girl can dream

*Hubba Hubba* is all I have to say. I'm so excited about the Bourne Ultimatum! I love the other two Bourne movies and I'm already thinking of how to pawn off the kids to get to a theater for this one. Going to the movies is BIG DEAL since having the little one (and perhaps even before). As a matter of fact, when TK was little Todd and I used to both have "doctor's appointments" on random weekdays and sneak to an afternoon movie before picking him up. Cough, cough - I'm feeeling bad already.

The things we do for love

TK: "Mommy, it's splash day"
Me: "Oh no, it sure looks like it is and we didn't wear the right clothes, did we?"
TK: "What should we do?"
Me: "I'm not sure, I have to get to my office"
TK: "Well can you just go back home and get my suit?"

What I thought was "Are you kidding me - that's 30 minutes one way - you are just going to have to sit this one out"

What I said was "Well, let me see what I can do"

What I did was - jump in my car, text my boss that I was going to be a few minutes late, speed to the closest 24 hour Wal-Mart, literally JOG in, grab a pair of swim trunks (Clearance for $5), grab a new pair of aqua socks (Clearance for $5, but a size 13 when he needs a 12) and grab a new beach towel (Clearance for $5). Run back to my car, squeal in the preschool parking lot barely missing taking out a few late arrivers and run in the door. His class was in the gym and when he saw me, he RAN for me! I took him to the restroom and helped him change and he was so happy and excited that he could hardly contain himself.

I'm mildly surprised at the things I find myself doing, as a mom, for my kids. Things that, if I heard the stories from someone else, I would react in this way "Oh I would NEVER do that, my child would just have to suck it up" or some other holier than thou parenting phrase. But seeing that EXCITED face and hearing the thanks and happiness made that hectic dash to Wal-Mart all worth it!

New Swim Trunks - $5
New Aquasox - $5
New towel - $5

Being your little boy's hero for one more day...I think you know where I'm going next :-)

PRICELESS!

More than a pretty face

This is pretty cool. Todd sister Courtney is married to Erik. This article is about his sister, Anja. She's cool in so many ways, but first and foremost because her life's work is dedicated to pediatric AIDS. Amazing, inspiring woman!

I got my hair did

Yep, I got my hair did. Picture Diane Sawyer, more mullet-ish with some I can't identify this fluff on one side.

I KNOW!!!

It pretty much sucks and it was expensive. My girl, Lauren, who I normally love, really sucked it up this time. I was pretty specific but I think she had her own ideas. Further validating that my life is just a series of one bad hairdo after another. Unfortunately I'm going to have to find someone to fix what she did and that means that it's even going to be shorter. I like short hair, but this sets in motion one of my biggest biggest pet peeves...when women get a "short, easy do"...post-baby - BLECH!

I will post a real picture when I figure how to capture the true essence of my awesomeness, but for now I leave you with what I wanted...and what I got. Enjoy!

What I wanted (little longer)


What I got...

3 months

WOW is all I can say. The little one is 3 months today! Where has the time gone? It's flying by so fast - so fast in fact I have actually contemplated having a 3rd...then Todd smacked me in the head to bring me back to reality! Those that know me know that I was a dedicated ONLY CHILD MAMA for the last 4 years - so the very fact that I have 2 children is a miraculous feat in and of itself...Thank the Lord for his plans :-)

Overheard at my house

TKW: Pop, did you know that Jesus is dead?
Pop: Yeah, Ty, I know that Jesus is dead?
TKW: Yeah, he died on this cross (holding up my cross necklace that he's now wearing)
Pop: Well, not that exact cross
TKW: Yeah, what?
Pop: Not that exact cross...that would have been a tiny little Jesus.

SHOUT...OUT

My favorite radio station does "Flush the Format" every Friday morning where they just take crazy requests and literally flush their format at 6:00 am. It's fun because you get to hear songs that you haven't heard in a long time and it gives you new ideas for songs to go download, etc. Well this morning I got a memory jog, blast from the past and I have to give a SHOUT OUT to my FAVORITE, ADORABLE, you know who you are cousin, JENNY!!!

"Y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here
Y'all gon' make me go all out up in here, up in here
Y'all gon' make me act a FOOL up in HERE, up in here
Y'all gon' make me lose my cool up in here, up in here"
(DMX, Party Up)

EVERY time I hear this song I think of Jenny, on the bar, throwing down to DMX at my bachelorette party so many years ago (6 this year!). This song is part of my workout mix (along with some other unexpected tunes for this 35 year old mom - rap and working out go good together!) It was a tame, but hilarious and fun moment for me to have with someone that I have know since she was born. Love you bunches ""chicken"!!!

Sleep is for losers

Well, for the second night in a row the little one has had some trouble making it work through the night. We have not spoken aloud of our tremendous luck that he has been sleeping through the night at 9 weeks because we didn't want to jinx it. So we just didn't speak of it. But now that it's temporarily over I feel safe talking about it. I feel so bad that I didn't take better advantage of those blissful 3 weeks of him having that 8:30 nightly bath, 8:45 nightly bottle and drifting off to sleep in my arms making his sweet little baby noises, smelling of baby lotion and miracles and dreaming all night in his aquarium swing and not peeping again until 5:30 or 6:30 a.m. How foolish of us to not be in bed every night by 9:00. Lesson learned...no matter now cute they are, never trust a baby. :-) I guess we'll sleep when we are dead.

Oh No You Dit'n!

I left an apple on my side table at my desk over the weekend and there were some bites missing this morning. I jokingly mentioned to my coworkers how weird that was that there were bites missing - as in roaches can't take bites that big, hahaha. "No", they said "Rats can."

That's Right (You're Not From Texas)

"You say you're not from Texas
Man as if I couldn't tell
You think you pull your boots on right
And wear your hat so well

So pardon me my laughter
'Cause I sure do understand
Even Moses go excited
When he saw the Promised Land

That's right you're not from Texas
...but Texas wants you anyway"

(Lyle Lovett and His Large Band)

There are a few things that every child born in Texas knows the second he gasps his first breath of Texas air (no matter where he was conceived or where his parents come from).

1. Remember the Alamo
2. The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas
3. The state flag of Texas is the only state flag that can fly at the same height as the flag of the United States of America
4. Guuunnnnns

I took Tiki to Dick's the other days for some errands and we happened to be near the hunting/fishing section of Dick's. The real guns are locked in a cabinet, but the pellet, paint ball and some other types of guns that are sold in your basic plastic shrink wrap packaging are displayed on the end caps of the aisles. I can only assume they are not dangerous guns since they are wrapped in plastic (ha ha). I happened to be looking at goggles for Tiki and could see him at the end of the aisle looking at the climbing wall and the next thing I see is him coming back down the aisle holding a shrink wrapped package of a pistol of some sort and another larger gun (it was a set :-)). He sat right down in the middle of the goggle aisle to more closely examine the guuuunnnns and got near enough to me to make sure I was able to answer any important questions he might have regarding the guuuuunnnnnns. Such as...

1. Can I buy these?
2. How much are they?
3. Can I use my own money?
4. How about when I grow up?
5. Can I use daddy's money today then?
6. Are these bullets?
7. Can we look at the other guuuuunnnns?
8. Can I show those boys "my" guuuunnnns?

Sweet! That's my 4 year old...

That's right, you're not from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway. :-)

Overheard at my house

"I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic
for witches dance,
one nation,
under God,
indivisible,
with liberty
and justice for all."

It's America - let all the witches dance!

Dilemma of the day

Nothing and everything to do with kiddos

Now that we have decided that two kids are enough - we each have our own to hold in the family photos - it's time to get S-E-R-I-O-U-S about losing this baby weight. It's been 10 weeks and it's really starting to look unsightly. My tailbone still hurts so bad I want to smack someone every time I have to sit on a hard surface, so that's been my excuse for not really throwing myself into physical fitness, but I really want to get this off quickly because, well, I am 35 and we all know what happens when you turn 35...you die shortly after.

So, anyway...yesterday on the way home from my parents house we stopped by the new Lifetime Fitness in our neighborhood to check it out since they have great swimming facilities. On the tour, the sales advisor was walking me around the classes upstairs and happened to sidestep me in front of the mirrors and horror of all horrors - I got a glimpse of myself in the dreaded gym mirrors. I could not believe how seriously big I look or am - one or the other or both. I was surprised since my trusty home mirror says to me every day "GIRL - you lost 30 lbs - now you still have about 35 more to go it's true, BUT a size 24 looks good on ya! You gon' be turnin' heads ta-day". And I leave the house feeling remarkably good about myself. :-)

The gym was great. Kyle was kind enough to leave a guest pass at the front desk so that I can go tonight and swim and huff my way through a spinning class (wait for it - NO!) and see if I like the facility- which I'm sure I will (anywhere with 5 dedicated lap lanes is good enough for big mama). So, now just got to find a suit, goggles, cap to protect my highlights (they are all I have right now) and a good, healthy dose of humility to swallow the pain the cellulite causes to the pride and I'm all SET!!!!!

Don't we all have a little?

Mama: noun
1: mother
2: slang: wife,woman

Drama:noun
3a:a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces b:dramatic state, effect, or quality

The following are the unbelievable, yet true stories of a family of 4 (and one dog scared of storms and fireworks) and how they manage to survive these *highly dramatic events* of every day life...