All within 30 minutes

• The little one peed enough to leak through his diaper and form a small puddle in his car seat. Did not notice until AFTER I took him out of that car seat, put him in the stroller and made his sit through TK's 30 minute hair trim. I'm lucky he sticks around.
  
• I SAT on - yes SAT ON a large Coke from Sonic in my seat. I still really can't talk about it without crying since I have sort of given up Coke and this was a treat to myself to cure my migraine. It was sad.
  
• TK spilled his strawberry slush from Sonic into his seat. Actually, check that - he punched a hole in the bottom of the cup like he does EVERY SINGLE TIME HE HAS SONIC. ??????????????

And we all lived happily ever after with soaking wet butts on the drive home. It's like a dream that it happened to all 3 of us within a 30 minute time frame.

Dear "Lady"?:

You know I'm talking to you. The big ole', tatted up, smoking pregnant mom at the fair...

It's not the "big ole', tatted up" part that I noticed - it was more the smoking and pregnant thing that got my attention.

I saw you and your family on the Kidway. That was me staring at you with the look of incredulation on my face. Remember me?

I just want to say that you totally deserve to have kids. Keep up the good work.

Love ya!

Sheesh and ****

Vocabulary lesson courtesy of the little one.

"What are these Bitty? Are these shoes?"

"Sheesh"

"That's right, shoes. And if those are shoes, what are these?"

"****" (removed by TAW)

"Yes, socks. That's right. You can only say socks at home, okay?"

"**********************" (removed by TAW)

"Yep, I got it Bitty. Socks."

Update

Even my garage stinks. It's permeated my freakin' garage.

Ode de Octogenerian

Bath and Body Works.

I NEVER go there.

If I have their Antibacterial Soap it's because my mom bought them for me.

TK needed a birthday gift for his teacher and we finally found the time Sunday evening at 5:30. My mom suggested lotions, etc from Ulta. Should have listened to her. Instead I parked at the first store in the strip mall, Bath and Body Works.

I found a good candle (Caramel Pumpkin) for TK's teacher and kitchen/bathroom soap - 3 for $10 for me.

Then I crossed the blurry line. The one that sounds like "STICK WITH WHAT YOU KNOW. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR BEING ADVENTUROUS. YOU ARE ALONE IN A SMELL STORE WITH TWO ORNERY LITTLE KIDS AND YOU AREN'T THINKING STRAIGHT."

But I ignored that and threw caution to the wind and for good measure I tossed in a room spray called "Sandalwood Vanilla". Ummmmm, right? Smelled so delish in the store. BUT, that could have been, and probably was, because it was mixed in with the other eleventy-hundred scents in the store, creating an illusion of Ummmmmmm.

I *somehow* and I really mean *somehow* accidentally sprayed a tiny drop of Sandalwood Vanilla in my cargo area...

My WHOLE car now stinks.

My car now stinks like "Ode de Mature Woman Wearing Some Estee Lauder Fragrance That Expired Like 5 Years Ago."

What's my point?

I don't recommend Sandalwood Vanilla as a way to freshen anything.

Can you use that in a sentence?

Today my amazingly amazing 5 year old used the word perseverance. in a sentence. in context.

All we could do was smile. And then all I could think was "Slow down, sweet boy...slow down. I'm not ready yet."

I wonder if there's a hole in my stomach

I was stuck yesterday with a heck of a migraine and nothing to take. I'm not on a daily med right now and had no medication to arrest the headache.

So, I'm just wondering if my homemade (read: desperation) remedy of One (1) 800 mg Ibuprofen, Two (2) Excedrin Migraine, Four (4) aspirin and One (1) Robaxin that Todd was prescribed for his shoulder, in addition to an aromatherapy bath - capped off by a freezing water head rinse and about a gallon of water to drink will have any lasting effects on me...?

Migraine

Headache

And lastly...

Dear Wealthy Retired Golfer and wife:

If you are in your personalized cart - in the school zone - during afternoon dismissal - and you see me in my big vehicle bearing down on you - while yelling at my 5 year old in the backseat - don't keep going and shake your head at me like I was wrong when I don't stop for you to cross the school driveway.

It won't be so funny after I've hit you.

P.S. School dismisses at 3:45 EACH WEEKDAY. I'm there all of them. My son gets daily notes so I'm likely to be repeating today's scene every day. Watch out for me.

Love ya!

Pictures of what keeps us busy

TK's rock climbing universe tour...it'll work as long as that snappy belayer comes along...and continues to act like a bored 16 year old who loves her job.



See that chair behind me with the baby booster seat in it? Well at 18 months I think I'm too big to sit in that chair to eat so I will only sit in a big chair or I'll starve myself and throw all my food on the floor. Just making it easy for my parents.

It never gets old

Holding a brand new baby, that is. (Please ignore my appearance and the bra strap that just won't be hidden) and look at the sweetest baby face since April 24, 2007. (That's the day the little one was born) :-)

New addition

My newest nephew is here. Jackson arrived this morning weighing in at 7lb, 6oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Everyone is happy and healthy.

Our basketball team is almost complete with my 2 - ages 5.5 and 1.5 and now Brian's 2 - ages 2.5 and newborn.

Poor TK will always be Godzilla of the bunch, but these cousins love each other and have so much fun together.

Praise the Lord for his miracles.

And speaking of stealing...

Today at Target I decided to buy a new bath puff - those meshy-sponge like things you can use in the shower. Obviously, that is an instant entertainment device for the little one in the cart.

Checkout was the TOTALLY AWESOME experience it always is and during that fun I got distracted and forgot to get the puff from the little one.

I realized this when I got to the car. Sweating (why me Lord?) and frustrated over what I like to call "checkout line begging 2.0" I look down to see the little one with the now stolen puff.

I was all "CRAP. I have frozen items. I'm not going back in."

Buuuuttttt, I can't take a stolen puff home with me either...Dilemma.

I finally decided to leave the puff in the cart and take the cart back inside. And if someone tries to stop me and tell me that I forgot my puff I'll fall back on my standard "Tracy no speaka English" and walk on. Luckily, nobody tried to stop me and end up with a dose of my dazzling Spanglish.

My rationale: Now, Target has the puff they think someone paid for and forgot and I'm off the hook for getting into Heaven later because I didn't *actually* steal and take the puff home. Downside of my rationale: I have to use my hands with my new body wash. Nice.

Bite, bite, bite, bite!

Do you let your kids eat from the grocery cart while you are shopping? I don't mean fruit and stuff that is weighed, etc., because that would be stealing. :-)

No, I mean like crackers, etc.? I do and my grandmother doesn't really get that. She told me that her kids would have to wait until they got home. I was like "Wow, my mom and her brothers must have been good and well fed kids."

I took the little one to the grocery store with me this afternoon. Little one + shopping of any kind = me having a meltdown. He stands up in the cart, he yells, he grabs anything within 6 ft of the cart (long arms) and did I mention the yelling and standing?

Well, lately, he's also not been content to let ANYONE eat ANYTHING in his presence without yelling "BITE!, BITE!, BITE!" until he consumes every morsel of what you have/had.

This grocery visit was a new low for us. I ordered chicken from the deli and they always give you the sample. As soon as the little one saw the .1000 of an ounce of chicken he yelled "BITE!". So I gave him the bite.

Talk about awakening the beast...

The beast became so awakened that when I checked out I just scanned the empty bag...that once held 1/2 lb of deli chicken...

I think we're going to have to reevaluate the nickname "Bitty".

Dangit!

I didn't get my weekly installment of "Who is getting beat by State this weekend?" up today and I caused them to lose...to Auburn...by one point.

Dangit.

Sorry State.

Are glue guns so 1997?

I'm not sure.

I rediscovered and re-fell-in-love with my glue gun tonight when for the eleventy-hundredth time the kids ripped the rope trim off of the ottoman tray. Okay kids, it was funny the first few times, but now it's not so funny anymore.

Anyway, it occurred to me as I blew the 6-inch thick layer of dust off of my glue gun that they are damn handy and should not be relegated to the garage all of the time...

That's all.

The honeymoon is over

It lasted almost 2.5 weeks though, so that's pretty good.

The letter went something like this...

Dear Parents of _______________:

TK has had a difficult week this week keeping his hands to himself....

And it went on from there to say that "he's a very sweet child", "does seem to be hitting playfully", "has been talked to repeatedly", "is not making good choices".

Phew.

I wrote a short dissertation back to her explaining that we would work on this. I love his teacher and so does he so that's a good place to start from.

This hitting thing - should be a piece of cake. Not counting the 4 times he hit or got rough with the little one in the 3 hours he's been home from school. I guess we'll start tomorrow. :-<

A riddle

Q: What's tan and clear and sticky with red and purple dots and some white strips mixed in?

A: The PILE of popsicle sticks, popsicle wrappers and fruit-by-the-foot wrappers I found behind the TV cabinet and speakers when I was innocently cleaning yesterday.

Apparently - and don't quote me on this - it's easier to chuck the wrappers over and sticks the TV and speakers than it is to walk 6 feet the other way to the trash can. At least, that's the case if you are 5 and the TV is tuned to Transformers Animated.

Who ever told me parenting was easy is in for a serious butt-kicking because they totally lied!

Should naming children be a supervised activity?

Dear laFamily:

I saw you today when I was driving my son to his school party. You were in the left lane and far enough ahead of me so that when we came to the stoplight I could see your "bragging" stickers on the back of your Suburban. You know the stickers that say "MHS Varsity Football - Caden", etc. The ones that most professionals say DON'T PUT ON YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT MAKES IT EASIER FOR PEDOPHILES TO GAIN YOUR CHILDREN'S TRUST IF THEY KNOW THEIR NAME AND WHAT THEIR INTERESTS ARE - but I digress. That's not what I'm writing to you about.

Actually, I wanted to comment on the amazing originality of your children's names. Believe me, I realize that all the good ones are taken and that you really have to struggle to be original.

I just want to say that I applaud your ingenuity. I salute your creative risk-taking. I commend you for going so far out on a limb.

I just hope that your lucky girls, LaKayla and LaChrista feel the same way...

Way to go LaMom. You LaRock!

Much love,

Let's try this again

And now for the weekly installment of

"WHO IS GETTING BEAT BY STATE THIS WEEKEND?"

Game 2

Southeastern Lousiana v. MSU

GO STATE!!!

Dear Dierdra (yes, that's really the spelling)

Dear Dierdra:

I can't tell exactly how old you are, but the white hair and nose-perched glasses make me think that your toe ring is probably a little too young for you.

I have a big favor to ask. If it's not too much trouble, please wait until you get home to take your Bath & Body Works receipt survey. Most of us are waiting for post surgery news about our loved ones and you yelling into the cell phone "those scents just scream "fall" to me" and "I love your candles, but not the 3-wick ones" is not really of interest to any of us.

And while I'm out on the favor limb, could you please just step into the hall when you call the local store to loudly inquire "HOW LONG ARE YOUR WALLFLOWERS ON 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL? WALLFLOWERS! YES, WALLFLOWERS!...OKAY, THANK YOU". I don't mean to judge, but you were waiting for news of someone being cut open under anesthesia. I'm just saying, the wallflowers sale at Bath & Body Works can wait. Really.

And lastly, Dierdra. Don't think I didn't see you get up and move when that doctor came out to update those two crazy ladies. I know he was loud. It's just ironic that the loudest person moves when someone else goes a little over the preferred decibel level. Oh Dierdra.

I appreciate you hearing me out Dierdra (and thanks for spelling your name 2 times - that was a bonus).

I know the hospital waiting room is boring, so thanks for understanding.

Love,

That's all it took

This morning for the eleventy-hundredth time I heard "You really do love Bitty more than me. You really do care about Bitty more than me."

AAACCCKKK.

When will it end, I asked myself.

Shortly after that exchange, the little one started pulling the clothes off of a chair he wanted to get in. That was taking too long so he decided to pull the entire laundry basket off. Once that was all dumped on the floor, he kicked his way around it and started to climb into the chair. I went over and said "No, no Bitty." and jokingly tapped him on the diaper. The little one turned from the chair and went the other way.

When I turned around I saw TK laying on the bean bag taking it all in. A big smile came across his face and he happily said "OOOOHHH. I guess you really do love us both equally after all."

?????????????????

Sooo, just so I'm clear. It's not that I'm nicer to the little one, it's that I'm not as mean?

Is that good or bad?