So...

There’s a NASCAR “season”?

O Tannenbaum

"O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum
"Wha-ha-ha the he-heck???"

My in-laws call me "Sweet Deal" because EVERYTHING I own has some sweet deal story behind it. And if you know me then you know that if you comment on anything I'm wearing or anything in my house the next thing you hear will be "Oh - I got at ____ for 65% off" or something similar. I get if from my mom - hands down the best-NEVER-pay-full-price shopper on the planet. And there's something really great about getting a good deal on something you really want/need. KWIM?

Okay - so back to the tree. Like everything else I own I got a GOOD DEAL! We moved to TX in late December 2002. And by late I mean 28th of December so we didn't have a tree that year. Just after Christmas we were shopping at Sears and my mom (of course) spied a 9ft pre-lit, multi-colored light tree - last year's model - for $99. I KNOW! We bought it. BUT, we don't care for multi-colored lights, so we bought eleventy-hundred boxes of tiny white lights and hand replaced every.single.one. Hand.replaced.every.single.light.on.the.9ft.tree. Thinking that it would be a lifetime tree. What we didn't anticipate is that makers of the tiny white lights would revamp the bulb design and the new tiny white lights don't fit our tree.

Bummer.

So, we now have this 9ft beauty in our living room window...with the front blinds closed.

Merry Christmas...

W-T-H?!

FYI - I'm taking the word FOC_ off of my blog. Seriously - there are people landing on this blog looking for stuff that sho' nuff ain't here...

And for the record, the little one has improved his pronunciation to SHOCKS.

Dear "Lady"?:

You know I'm talking to you. The big ole', tatted up, smoking pregnant mom at the fair...

It's not the "big ole', tatted up" part that I noticed - it was more the smoking and pregnant thing that got my attention.

I saw you and your family on the Kidway. That was me staring at you with the look of incredulation on my face. Remember me?

I just want to say that you totally deserve to have kids. Keep up the good work.

Love ya!

Smackit brothers ~ disbanded

"How was your new buddy - your Smackit brother buddy?"

"I'm not friends with him anymore - he kept hitting me."


Oooooooohhhhhhh. Hmm. Maybe you should have called yourselves something else...???????

Living the dream...

Roll 'n Grow, Part Deux

Yesterday I was in the kitchen while the little one was napping and TK was watching a "kid's show". A commercial came on and I heard TK say "Mommy, are you hearing this?"

I told him I was and he turned to look at me over the back of the couch...

"Well, do you want pretty flowers?"

"Sure I do"

"Do you want to have them attract butterflies?"

"Sure, that would be nice"

"Then you should just get the Roll 'n Grow mat. All you do is just roll, water and let mother nature do the rest. You'll end up with beautiful flowers in no time."

His pitch was so convincing I visited the website. But what I really want to know - and I've asked this before - why are those commercials on mid-day Nickelodeon?????

No parkin' on the dance floor

TK wears glasses and has for about 1.5 years now. He's done really well for being his age and having to deal with glasses. His first pair were these cool little blue wire rectangles made of memory metal that you can bend and twist - perfect for a 4 year old. They survived until one fateful timeout where TK took the glasses and tried to break them in half in a fit of anger. Todd and were kind of standing back laughing at him and thinking "good luck" until we heard snaaaappp. That was the sound of one of the 3 "weak points" on the glasses snapping in half...NICE JOB KID!

Remarkably, Todd stayed calm and dragged Teeks to LensCrafters at 4:45 on a Sunday afternoon to see what could be done. The awesome guy there was all "Sir, I think these glasses are defective. Don't you think that sir? Seriously, I THINK THEY WERE DEFECTIVE AND I THINK WE SHOULD REPLACE THESE FRAMES FOR FREE, SIR." He replaced the frames, but told Todd "We can't do anything about those lenses." We had no idea what he was talking about until we discovered that there were teeth marks on the lenses. Yes, teeth marks. Evidently, (as discovered upon further investigation) TK got something on the lens and tried to scrape it off with his teeth - you know, as opposed to haaaaah-ing on the lens and wiping off the fog. Who uses their teeth????

So finally we went for a new exam last week and found out that the patching has not been working and instead Tiki will have to use the dilating drops in order to make his weak eye work harder and gain some strength. That means one eye will be dilated all the time - something I think will be fun for all of us, no really fun for all of us. It's so sad to see him try to shake his head to clear his vision when his eyes are dilated. It will be quite fun watching him try to do that in 6 week increments.

After the exam the doctor tells me that although TK's prescription has not changed much, he does indeed new glasses (and not just because of the teeth marks...) This time there are special effects called for!

Checkout went something like this.

Tortoiseshell Ralph Lauren frames for $119.95 - covered by insurance...check
Single vision lens for $120.00 - I pay $10...check
Featherweight lens for $65.00 - I pay $40...check
Transitions tinting for $125 - I pay $100...check
Invisible prism for $85 - I pay $45...check

If you are good at math you can see that my original total was $514.95. After my insurance kicked in my out of pocket total was $195.00.

While Sergio the Optician was swiping my card I leaned down to TK and said very quietly "If I find your teeth or your mouth on ANY part of these glasses I will tan your hide".

He looked up at me with the one big eye and said "Will you spank me until your hand becomes part of my body?"

After the initial shock I was like "Would that be scary to you?"

"Yes"

"Okay - then yes that's what I'll do"

I WAS MEANT FOR THIS JOB!

Oh, in-home daycare lady...

From where doth thee come?

I'm on a quest to discover which planet the little one's daycare provider came from...

It all started with TC was around 6 months and I picked him up and on his "paper" it said "I HAD BEEF TODAY." WHAT? Seriously? Beef? He's 6 months - what's the rush?

Then about a month ago I picked him up to find that she had given him meat sticks. When I said something one of the ladies said "Oh he loved the meat sticks you brought". The other said "Oh I bought those - Tracy didn't bring them". So I said "No more - no meat until at least a year - that's what we're doing". After the 1950's ladies gave me grief for being uptight about feeding they said okay and I followed that up with "No more food that we don't bring..."

Then today I got there and she dropped this one... "He had peanut butter toast today and he loved it." Ba-whu?

Did you say peanut butter?

And then she said "So you might want to watch for an allergic reaction tonight."

All I can say is *wow*.

And by wow I mean, how quickly can I find a new place...

It's a GIRL!

At least according to TK.

I dropped TK off at school this morning and his teacher Ms. Ashley spotted me. She gave me "the look". That's usually the "I need to talk to you" followed by "TK did such and such to so and so" look. So I'm always nervous.

So she came over with that weird smile on her face and got really close, spoke really softly and said

"Are you pregnant?"

I was like "NO!" "Are you?"

"Yes. But TK told me you were, too. He said that you were pregnant and that y'all already knew what you were having and it was a girl and everyone is so excited".


Where did he come from? For real...

I must admit that I'm not surprised since about 4 months ago he saw an episode of Aurthur where Binky's parents adopted a baby girl from China. I spent the next month assuring classmates mother's that we were NOT adopting a baby from China...

A mind like a steel trap, that one... and an imagination that can't be measured. I'm proud and all, but can it just stop involving me being pregnant or raising another baby? Seriously.

Rocky or just a baby with Pink Eye?

And other high stakes drama from the world of daycare going kids...

I hope that my blog is not *that* famous yet because I don't want my neighbors to read it. (haha)

But seriously, the little one goes to a daycare owned by a lady down the street - an in-home daycare. So Friday afternoon I go to pick him up and she says "I think TC has pink eye." I was thinking "Information that would have been useful 5 HOURS AGO!". It's 5:30 Friday afternoon.

He wakes up Saturday pretty okay and we are thinking "Allergies - let's just watch and see how it goes". By Saturday night it is clear that it's not allergies and it is indeed pink eye. So we all suffer through Sunday and hit the doctor first thing Monday morning.

On our way back from the dr and $90 later his daycare provider calls "How is TC? Is he coming today?" I said no - maybe in 24 hours.

Fast forward to this morning and he's looking much better, but we are still not ready to go back to daycare. I get another call

"Is TC coming today?"

"No he's doing better but I think we will wait until Wed morning"

"Oh, did you go to the Dr? What did he have?"

"Pink eye"

"Is that all?"

"Uh, yes. Why"

"Well I'm sick and so is another child and we're trying to figure out what TC gave us"

Ba-whu?

"What do you have?"

"I think I have bronchitis"

"Well, TC has pink eye and that's not bronchitis. Isn't bronchitis a secondary infection from a cold?"

"I don't know. Talk to you later"

Huh. For maybe the first time ever, I was speechless.

But you do it...

Nervous laughter follows.

That's what TK said to me line @ Walgreens...during this conversation.

We walked up to pay for our purchases (deeply discounted Easter candy :-)). There was a younger, handsome guy working the register and an older handsome gentleman paying for his purchases. About the time we got to the counter Tiki lets a belch loose that I didn't think was possible from a 5 year old belly. It was wet and noisy and disgusting! Out of habit I said "Teeeeks - yuck- say excuse me". The two guys at the counter were looking away trying not to laugh and I was doing the same.

A few seconds later he said "Excuse me." And then "But mommy you do it all the time."

Touche.

Fix me a chicken pot pie!

Every 2nd Sunday I make the world's longest grocery and errand run and I hate it. Nothing puts me in a worse mood than spending the day grocery shopping. It's not fun alone and it's not fun with kids. It always works out that as soon as I get home everyone else needs to get somewhere so I end up putting everything away also.

This past weekend I was hurrying home so that Todd could get Tiki to a friend birthday at Peter Piper. As soon as I walked in Tiki started asking for a snack, something to drink and help getting his shoes on. I got the snack moving, got a drink moving and started working on the shoes. I thought I was doing pretty well multi-tasking and all. TK had other ideas...

"Mommy, you're like a maid. You just do everything we tell you."