No parkin' on the dance floor

TK wears glasses and has for about 1.5 years now. He's done really well for being his age and having to deal with glasses. His first pair were these cool little blue wire rectangles made of memory metal that you can bend and twist - perfect for a 4 year old. They survived until one fateful timeout where TK took the glasses and tried to break them in half in a fit of anger. Todd and were kind of standing back laughing at him and thinking "good luck" until we heard snaaaappp. That was the sound of one of the 3 "weak points" on the glasses snapping in half...NICE JOB KID!

Remarkably, Todd stayed calm and dragged Teeks to LensCrafters at 4:45 on a Sunday afternoon to see what could be done. The awesome guy there was all "Sir, I think these glasses are defective. Don't you think that sir? Seriously, I THINK THEY WERE DEFECTIVE AND I THINK WE SHOULD REPLACE THESE FRAMES FOR FREE, SIR." He replaced the frames, but told Todd "We can't do anything about those lenses." We had no idea what he was talking about until we discovered that there were teeth marks on the lenses. Yes, teeth marks. Evidently, (as discovered upon further investigation) TK got something on the lens and tried to scrape it off with his teeth - you know, as opposed to haaaaah-ing on the lens and wiping off the fog. Who uses their teeth????

So finally we went for a new exam last week and found out that the patching has not been working and instead Tiki will have to use the dilating drops in order to make his weak eye work harder and gain some strength. That means one eye will be dilated all the time - something I think will be fun for all of us, no really fun for all of us. It's so sad to see him try to shake his head to clear his vision when his eyes are dilated. It will be quite fun watching him try to do that in 6 week increments.

After the exam the doctor tells me that although TK's prescription has not changed much, he does indeed new glasses (and not just because of the teeth marks...) This time there are special effects called for!

Checkout went something like this.

Tortoiseshell Ralph Lauren frames for $119.95 - covered by insurance...check
Single vision lens for $120.00 - I pay $10...check
Featherweight lens for $65.00 - I pay $40...check
Transitions tinting for $125 - I pay $100...check
Invisible prism for $85 - I pay $45...check

If you are good at math you can see that my original total was $514.95. After my insurance kicked in my out of pocket total was $195.00.

While Sergio the Optician was swiping my card I leaned down to TK and said very quietly "If I find your teeth or your mouth on ANY part of these glasses I will tan your hide".

He looked up at me with the one big eye and said "Will you spank me until your hand becomes part of my body?"

After the initial shock I was like "Would that be scary to you?"

"Yes"

"Okay - then yes that's what I'll do"

I WAS MEANT FOR THIS JOB!

Overheard in my car

"Oh TK look, they are putting in the overpass support columns for the new highway. That's going to be so nice when that's finished"

"What?"

"They are going to make this a regular highway with no stoplights. That's going to make it nice. You know?"

"Yeah. It's gonna be totally wicked sick"

"Did you say totally wicked sick?"

"Duh"

15 days til "t" day and 24 days til "d" day

So much has transpired in the last week I don't even know where to begin.

The *actual* story is long, much too long to type. The short version is that my goal was to be teaching by the time TK started school (August 2008). I started working on my certificate last summer and during that time left Dr Pepper and went back to FNIS and just worked slowly on my certificate (read - putting off testing...). So last Thursday I scheduled my test for June 25 - that would be "t" day - test day. And in a strange twist of fate I was informed last Friday that as of July 7, my job would be "located" in Florida - with or without me - that would be "d" day - DAMNIT! day :-).

I think it goes without saying that there is pretty much no way we would move. We don't love Texas, but we have done our time in Florida already and that was at the beach. Todd used to say "I would never live in Orlando - I mean, what's the point?"

So the message here is that as of July 7, I am unemployed. That friends is a scary sentence...

I don't normally blog about me because blogging about the inappropriate things my child says is much more interesting, but this is on my mind and even though I'm not telling the whole sordid story it feels better to just say it...

I totally believe in providence so I know that there are bigger and better things in store for me, but as I always say when people say "When one door closes another opens" is "Yes, but it's the time in the hallway that's hard..."

Wish me luck and if you pray - then say one for me :-)!

Don't Ask & Don't Tell, revised edition

A couple of years ago my parents got TK some GI Joe dolls. We thought they would be good toys for him (they were huge) and a good way to practice snaps, dressing and undressing - typical learning stuff. My mom even asked "Will Todd be okay with dolls that can be undressed". I was all "Todd is modern, he will be fine with that" and such. And for the most part, he was...until for the fourth week in a row he found the 2 GI Joe dolls completely naked save for their dog tags around their neck...

That day he renamed them "Don't Ask" and "Don't Tell" and informed us that if they didn't find their clothes quickly they would be dishonorably discharged...

Alas, they did not find their clothes and ended up in the dumpster...naked and alone. End of story. I still do give Todd a hard time about Don't Ask and Don't Tell and he now just grimaces and makes some mumbly comment about letting TK play wth naked dolls, etc.

So this morning Teeks comes in the office carrying Derek, Prince Derek that is from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses - the boy doll he HAD to have because he had riding boots...naked.

"Mommy, I can't find Prince Derek's clothes"

"Hmmm, yeah, he's naked all right. We need to find some clothes for him pretty quick"

"Well, I can't. I don't know where they are. So can I keep him?"

"What?"

"Can I keep him? Naked?"

"Only until your father finds out..."


At least Derek's not naked with a friend and at least he's not wearing dog tags...

I'm bringing drama back, yeah.

Not really - but I think the break is over. I'll have to slowly tranistion back to blogging now that the lazy days of summer are here.

TK is out of Pre-K/daycare for the summer. We've decided to let him do some day camps and fun stuff before starting Kindergarten in the fall (whhhhaaaattttt????? - I know!)

So, he and my dad (Pop) have been spending some time together - swimming, seeing movies, toy shopping, etc. TK *loves* doing stuff with Pop -but so far this summer nothing tops toy shopping...and here's why

Overheard at Wal-Mart

"Hey Pop, I have $4. How about you throw in $10 so I can get that Ironman toy".

I'm going to try that "Hey, I have $10, about you throw in $990 and I can get that new TV..."

Does this count as drama?

That I was gone for 7 days from my boys?

My flight left Friday, May 16 at 12:30 pm for Orlando and I returned to DFW on Friday, May 23 at 7:30 pm after a small weather delay.

That was honestly the longest 7 days of my life. To make matters worse I was at the Disney Contemporary on the 12th floor (Concierge Level) with an unobstructed view of Cinderella's Castle, Space Mountain and the nightly fireworks - things my little guys would have enjoyed immensely. This is same hotel I was in for my February meeting - when I had TK and my mom with me. That definitely made it much harder to be there alone this time.

There's something nice about being a mom and escaping for a few hours, but 7 days is a litle much...I'm thrilled to be back to my mundane, loud, dirty, crazy life!!!!!!!!!

Google Reader

This is a cool service to have if you read multiple blogs or check multiple blogs or news sites or other pages you can add them to a single site and see the new updates without going to each site individually. Search Google Reader and check it out. Pretty cool.

Brace yourselves...

If you know me you know that I LOVE to laugh and I find a lot of stuff funny. I don't particularly find stupid stuff funny, but once in a while one slips through...

Manbabies and that's all I'm saying.

I will blog again

Once I get back from my big trip. Our HUGE user group meeting starts Monday so I'm leaving tomorrow - and entrusting the kids and the house and my car to my husband...

I KNOW!

What did I do to deserve this?

Everything I ask TK to do, he replies...

"As you wish" and then does it.

Ba-whu?

I don't know how long it will last but I encourage it by letting him know every time how much I enjoyed The Princess Bride and how much I liked it when Westley said that to Buttercup...

That and crossing my fingers.

"She's like, so whatever"

I had completely forgotten about the in-law visitation incident...

My mother-in-law and I went out last Saturday to buy a neat little crepe myrtle for our front flower bed. Since it was supposed to rain we wanted to come home and get the tree in the ground quickly. So Todd was standing by with the shovel when we drove up. He got started and I went in to find my father-in-law with the kids. I asked Tiki if he wanted to come outside and watch and he did...so he walked out the door singing...as loud as he could "Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, think you need a new one..." and so on.

My college sophomore across the street neighbor was outside doing lawn work and upon hearing Teeks just stopped...and slowly turned around to stare. I said "Yes, you did hear what you think you heard." Poor Michael.

So a little later Todd and I were getting ready to go to a movie and we came downstairs to find TK and my mother-in-law working a jigsaw puzzle. Mimi said "Oh TK let's sing your song for Gramps." And then without warning I heard my 60-something year old, elected politician, mother-in-law and my 5 year old son...

"Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, think you need a new one..."

You can't be serious...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ25-glGRzI

Oh, in-home daycare lady...

From where doth thee come?

I'm on a quest to discover which planet the little one's daycare provider came from...

It all started with TC was around 6 months and I picked him up and on his "paper" it said "I HAD BEEF TODAY." WHAT? Seriously? Beef? He's 6 months - what's the rush?

Then about a month ago I picked him up to find that she had given him meat sticks. When I said something one of the ladies said "Oh he loved the meat sticks you brought". The other said "Oh I bought those - Tracy didn't bring them". So I said "No more - no meat until at least a year - that's what we're doing". After the 1950's ladies gave me grief for being uptight about feeding they said okay and I followed that up with "No more food that we don't bring..."

Then today I got there and she dropped this one... "He had peanut butter toast today and he loved it." Ba-whu?

Did you say peanut butter?

And then she said "So you might want to watch for an allergic reaction tonight."

All I can say is *wow*.

And by wow I mean, how quickly can I find a new place...